Sunday, August 25, 2013

Will I ever feel ok?

Just feeling like my life isn't going in the right direction. I was getting married now I'm not. I was living with friends this year, now I'm not. I was working a retail job, now I'm not (that one is ok though). I feel like my life has just gotten turned upside down and I'm scrambling to land right side up. I know what I want. I know what I need. I'm happy with Kyle and he's happy with me, but I'm so afraid that king, his army battle buddy, will never like me and thus Kyle will never marry me. I can't shake the feeling like its not me that's the problem with getting married. I know Kyle wants us to last and I do too so that I'm ok with waiting to be sure of, but I also know Kyle respects kings opinion and right now, king doesn't like me. He probably is annoyed at ne calling Kyle. He's probably annoyed with me texting Kyle. He's probably annoyed that Kyle and I love each other because from what I can tell, the only woman king respects and cares about is his mom and even that is a stretch. So really... I'm afraid I'll never get the happy ending I dream about. I'm afraid that Kyle won't ever see me in the place in his life that I want to be. I'm scared that I will be abandoned by the man I love because his dumb friend can't get over Kyle being happy with someone and loving them as much as they both love the army.

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