wow.

I have my music on shuffle. It's Your Love by Tim McGraw came on and I waited for those old feelings to assault my brain. I waited prepared to rationalize my way out of the feelings, but they never came. Those feelings are gone. They are in the past and for once they are staying there.

Distance from Chris did nothing for me like trying to be his friend is doing now. Being a part of it and seeing everything so clearly makes me realize just how much better than that I am. I don't need Chris to define my feelings or my life. I may be single now, but somehow it doesn't seem so comfortable as before. I feel like I can actually open my eyes to new people and see what may come my way. I can take off my old sweats and throw on a coat of makeup and some cute shoes and embrace who I am and be strong and not suffering from a bad breakup.

My hair has grown out again. My nails are always painted now. I take time to eat breakfast and look ok before I leave the dorm every morning. I have started trying again. Because those feelings aren't here I don't have to hang myself up on them. I'm free! Wow.