feeling down

I know I get down sometimes and I know I can pick myself up again in the morning. Sometimes at night, when the stars don't shine here and remind me that I'm just a little fish in this big ocean of life, I have a hard time reminding myself the morning will be brighter. I wish, on nights like this, to be 16 again. I wish to  be innocent and oblivious and head over heels in love and staring at the stars feeling like anything is possible. I wish I could visit the 17/18 year old me that used to drive down the wrong side of the road just praying for a car to come. I wish I could tell the scared and anxious elementary school kid that you will have friends. I wish, on nights like this, that I could run far far away. Far away where the lights fade and the air is the only sound I hear. If I got to  run that far, I'd lay back on soft grass and watch the stars and feel the grass slowly tickling me until I itch. I'd make wishes on falling stars that something wonderful would happen. I'd dream of memories of watching stars in the arms of someone I once loved. I'd dream of someday laying in my own little yard in suburbia watching the stars with my kids showing them the magic of the world just out of our reach. I wish, on nights like this, to be a star. I wish I was strongest at night when the world falls asleep and the dreamers are making wishes. I wish I was a wish.