AHHHHHH

Another update: 1st: I thought I had therapy tomorrow, but I don't. It is NEXT Tuesday. 2nd: Chris is telling me his woman drama. What kind of weird ass day is this? 3rd: I am working magic bounce on Friday and Sunday. And babysitting Saturday. oh boy. 4th: My brain is seriously running so fast that typing is about the only thing keeping my brain in check. 5th: I could really use some loud Aerosmith to clear my head or tell me my feelings, but everyone is sleeping. Thank goodness for headphones. 6th: I have to fill out a tax form. Confusing! 7th: I want to crochet more, but it lets me think too much right now. 8th: I have laundry up the wazu to put away. 9th: I want my mother awake to sort all this out. Or I wish I had a girlfriend to call. Pathetic. 10th: I want to be outside, but there are bugs. I also am scared to look at the stars. See other posts for reasons. Mainly pathetic ones about Chris, but I feel allowed to have a couple soft spots. 11th: I'm firmly convinced that I am very Jaded. I need this word tattooed on my ass. In a couple years. 12th: I missed the use of my hand in typing my blogs. This is much better than using my touch screen keyboard. 13th: I like my makeup and outfit today and the only people who saw were guys at pawnshops. 14th: It feels good to wear my rings again. 15th: I need to repaint my nails. BADLY. 16th: I miss being little and crawling into mom and dads room to sleep on their floor. 17th: I wish I had some Benzodiazepines lol that would calm me down... 18th: I also want to up my gauges right now, but its too soon. 19th: I can't get my brain to get this memory out of my head right now. It's starting to disturb me. More Aerosmith will help.. 20th: I think I'm a little better now. I may be blogging more tonight. Stay tuned.