The Best I Ever Had? So far.

It's one of those things that unless you've really truly loved and lost you won't get. Until something better comes along, that was the best I ever had. But it was what I had. So far, my life has been a rollercoaster and its not slowing down, but it's finally just hitting some top speeds on a level plain. Maybe I won't have any big loves for awhile. Maybe that was it, but can I really be sad and miss it? No. It happened. It was amazing. Those days were some of the happiest of my life. But, I'm not going to spend my life missing that and end up missing some great opportunity in front of me. I am lucky. I got to get a glimpse of what it's like to love someone heart and soul and I was only 16. For the rest of my life now I will know when something or someone is right because that butterflies in my stomach, head over heels, genuine terror and fascination, and above all else complete comfort will be there. So you sailed away into a gray sky morning... All the rest of my days are going to be sunny. Take your dark skies with you. But its not so bad. You're only the best I ever had. Yet! Now, the challenge is remembering this when he decides to pop into my life again. So what we talked and he said he misses me. Does that change anything? Only if he lets it. Is he running to me saying we should spend time together and talk again? Ha. No. Sure, some small part of me wishes he was serious and did miss me enough to change the way things come and go between us, but the reality is, it won't. I realize this and keep it in mind now when I catch myself staring at my phone for a message that never comes. He's gone again. Not answering my friendly good morning. So goodbye it is again. Talk to you in about a month when you start to feel me disappearing. I'm going to make my life the best I ever had, cause (cheesy) YOLO! hahahahahah