No matter how good of a moment I am having, there is anxiety. Anxiety about the next test. The weather. My friends. Grades. Family. Am I going the right direction? Did I close the window enough before I left? Will I get into grad school? Will things with Kyle stick or will I find myself heart broken again?
Even in his arms, I just felt anxious. But, I forced myself to take a breath, let it out, and curl in tighter. I haven't told him how much I worry. It will only push him away. My worries are my problem. Part of being a partner in a relationship is knowing how to take care of yourself so you can be there for the other person. It isn't easy. But, this time around, I'm trying to keep my worries down and my chin up. I'm trying to be the dependable one not the dependent one. I will always jump to conclusions when I don't receive a text or a call. That's who I am, but I won't let those feelings interfere with something so good.
So anxiety always wins, but I won't let it win everything. In my head is fine, but not outside.
No comments:
Post a Comment