Blood donation.

I donated blood today. Then the guy sat me up too fast and I forgot breakfast and passed out. Otherwise it was good.

I'm starting to feel the familiar sting of rejection and losing friends again. I understand that I'm not perfect and what everyone wants in a friend. But, if you are my friend then why leave? Why cut me out? I feel like the friend that no one wants.

Chris never answered me about talking things out. So I said "you are a coward and I don't know why I ever loved you" and moved on. Probably, he will text in a few months. If he agrees to talk for real then I will answer otherwise I deserve better.

I am hurt about Mak looking at an apartment with tavia. I'm sad I wasn't invited. I'm sad they didn't think of me in their plans of where to live next year. I'm deeply hurt that Mak didn't tell me honestly that she was going to look at a place with tavia. I'm upset that I am not my roommates first choice for a roommate next year. I hate that I get left behind. I'm being abandoned again.

So I donated blood. I feel like I just got robbed of my friends and somehow, everything and everyone else is still more important than me.