Uh oh.

I keep my walls high and very thick. No one is getting in here.

Well so I thought. I have stirrings of potential feelings for someone I see as one of if not my best guy friend. How this happened I have no idea. I don't know what I even want with this. Its not a good idea for so many reasons so I'm trying to ignore it. However the urge to kiss him at inappropriate times fails to disappear.

Then there is the little issue of my hopes for something with the guy who calls me beautiful all the time. He's adorable and sweet but I'm not sure that would be a good idea.

Then there is the issue of keeping Chris away for good now.

Lastly, someone that I've wanted for a long time is so close I can almost grab him. But, I have the most sickening feeling that I'm going to get hurt. Really bad. I want to text him all the time and whenever I see him I literally have to remind myself to be cool. And when I stupidly got caught staring this morning I responded even dumber with "I'm exhausted". I coulda said something much better. I tried to ignore this guy and put him in the closed box but he showed up and is now so close. I want to just be patient and wait for him to move here but its so not who I am. I make the girl move and prompt him to move. I can't ask him out. It would be bad. He'd say no and then id be rejected, sad, and really disappointed. No good.

So my walls have failed me. Uh oh.