Thursday, May 10, 2012
Why is it?
Why is it that in the midst of finals and all this mess, I can't get Chris out of my head?
Why is it that he shows up in my dreams?
Why is it that I know consciously and unconsciously that he is not meant to be with me and I don't want to date him ever again but he still is in my head?
Why is it that my stomach turns over on itself every time I see his name pop up on my phone screen?
Why is it that HE texted me after he told me he has his eye on a girl and that we shouldn't hang out anymore?
Why is it that he says things like "i don't have a girl" to me?
Why is it that my head may be swimming with school stuff and busy beyond belief, but all I want to do is curl up in my chair and write him a letter with all my thoughts?
Why is it that he should even deserve to be my friend?
Why is it that I let him play this game?
Why is it that I want to drink his memory away today?
Why is it that the smell of my roommates weed reminds me of him?
Why is it ok that everything reminds me of him today?
Why is it that I can't even distract myself from him today?
Why can't I stop listing stupid questions that don't matter in like ten minutes?
Why can't he just stick around or go?
Why????
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