I'm a novelty. I'm the favorite toy that is always kept away then randomly gets taken down for a short time to play with. I'm the favorite dessert that you only get every once in awhile.
This makes those first days with me great. Everything seems so perfect. Then it gets old. The novelty wears off and I'm just another girl with feelings and expectations and all that jazz. So? He stops talking. He stops calling me cute and beautiful. Stops saying he wants to see me. Stops wanting me.
I keep waiting to cry at this realization, but I think I've known this for awhile now. This is the reason we're not together and why I'm always so terrified and happy to talk to him. This is why I'm ok with him leaving as he always does because it means he'll come back missing me again. How sick is my brain? Willing to subject myself to torture just to feel a few butterflies for a few days?
I think I was right when I cut him off before. If I can get past the missing and start to see clear again I won't be looking for him... I should just not talk to him... But, do I want one last goodbye kiss first? Want yes, need no.
Back to writing I go and hopefully I can cut him out. I'm a broken record, I know. I'm sorry. But honestly, everyone is entitled to one hopeless romance in their life. I just am using mine now.
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