That little lying, conniving bastard!

So, I was stood up. Not only was I stood up, but it was in favor of a different ex girlfriend.

Chris and Karie have a thing again. Well good for them. I'm so happy that the guy that was telling me how much he likes being with me and how "kissing me gives him butterflies" and when I'm in his arms it "just feels right". He's a big fat liar Karie and he probably was screwing me when you two got back together or whatever. So enjoy your cheater and little butt face. For real.

I am now mortified at how concerned I was that he didn't show up yesterday. I was worried something had happened to him, but nope. Now, I just feel duped and pathetic. More than I already did.

You know, I was really trying to give things a chance to work out. I had quit pushing him and all that, but still that wasn't enough to grace me with his presence.

Just to be clear... I'm mad and upset about being stood up, lied to, and not even graced with a response from Chris himself (I heard about Karie from a friend). If there was any sort of feelings left for him, they sure as hell are gone now. Chris can go die in a fucking hole for all I care. And if I had the unfortunate luck to walk past said hole, I'd leave him down there and spit in it.

My words are angry and that's how I feel. Something I valued is now gone. Yeah, it wasn't a relationship or really anything, but it was kinda nice having someone to talk to and hold me for once. I have a right to be upset after all he's put me through. The rudeness of just blowing me off is what really gets me going. I'm not even worthy of hearing rejection from him. That's awesome.

Now, I'm no longer treading water. It's sink or swim in my emotions. I'm gonna make this into a turning point for me. I'm going to direct this anger into protecting me from falling into the trap that is Chris. Fuck him. No more answering his text messages. I'm even going to block his number so if there ever was something from him. Even an apology, I won't see it. No more. No more stupid broken record on my part. No more saying I'm going to leave him alone and not really holding to it. I'm fucking done with his shit. He's a liar and I won't be missing anything (besides some awesome sex, but there is probably better someplace else, I won't be looking just for that though in case anyone was worried. I have morals and standards and all that jazz). This is not a set back. It's the first step in the rest of my fucking life and I'm gonna kick ass from here on out. On my own. For real this time.