I don't know how to be happy with a guy. I get scared when I start to feel happy because that might lead to me getting hurt. Damn Chris broke me.
Today I smiled at a text again. I smiled and laughed and joked with a guy I genuinely like. That to me sounds like a recipe for disaster. But I shall chin up and enjoy it now and if something goes wrong I know I can make it through.
I mean I made it through a living hell on earth with Chris. If they set off a bomb I think that'd be easier than the Chris scenario again. Thankfully, I learned and now know not to believe in someone with my whole heart. Humans are fallible, the only real trust is in the self. My mind can be a place of peace. Meditation is teaching me this.
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