Things with my roommate have escalated to a point where neither of us is really comfortable in the same room. I cannot do homework in my room due to the clutter and mess on her desk and her "side" of the room. I literally have had to do homework elsewhere cause it's that bad. My OCD and the anxiety are so bad right now. I am having a very hard time just making it through the process of taking care of everything. On top of that, registration is tomorrow morning at 7am.
Panic attacks here are not an option. This school is my happy place. Anxiety and stress will happen, but I think there is more of an underlying cause for the incredible amount of anxiety that I have. I've reverted into some of my old habits and new ones as well just to cope with the anxious and depressed feelings I am starting to get again. I bite my lip incesantly and I started chewing my hangnails like crazy. I can't fall asleep at night without the T.V. on and clutching tightly to a stuffed animal for comfort. I have too much on my mind. I literally cannot speak straight sometimes. I have picked up a stammer from the processing in my brain right now. The roommate situation has me so hopeless, I cried here on Monday for the first time in a long time. Since then, sleep is sometimes very tearful.
I should feel comfortable with my roommate. I should feel comfortable in my own room. Comfortable at least enough to be able to do homework without getting off task by the amount of things around me and on my mind. When my heartrate increases whenever I walk in my room or see my roommate that is not O.K. Something needs to change. If only the process wasn't so difficult and the dorms not so full.
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