one more day

"One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you"
-One More Day by Diamond Rio

I had one of these days last night with Chris. He was the boy I fell in love with and now is a memory. However, I have been wishing for him to be back to normal for just one night and last night I had this chance.

He and his girlfriend broke up. We cuddled and talked and laughed like old times. He reminisced with me. We smiled at each other. I saw the look in his eyes that made me fall in love in the first place. I saw the feelings he denies in his eyes. I heard his heartbeat again. I had forgotten how amazing it sounds.

Yet, this one more day has left me wishing for more. It has left me spinning in circles trying to figure out the reasons he called me up last night. I have been confused on if it was just an amazing moment in time or if he found more in it.

I have a life and I am happy where I am. I am solid in who I am. If anything ever did happen, I would be so happy to have him with me again. However, I am not going to get into things the way we were before. I would love to have him around again. I love him to death. But, I respect his individual life and I have my own individual life. We have both grown over the last year. I want to get to know him again. I want to spend time with him, but I do not want our two lives to become one again. It is not practical and I love where I am.

I wish he would agree to coffee and maybe see that things can be good. I know he saw it last night. I did too. But, if he does not come halfway, I am not going to sit here waiting for him for as long as I did before. I have life to live. Come along for the ride, or watch me go. I will wait a little while for you now, but do not let me slip away if that's what you want.