In my very exciting homecoming night, I talked to a lot of people. Some, I don't remember. I overdid it with the partying, just a bit. Not only do I feel horrible physically, but mentally and emotionally I'm just screwed.
Everyone in my building is blaming me for spreading a rumor that they were going to do room checks. I did not start this rumor. The only people I told were my friends out of consideration. I did not make it up. I heard from my friends that it was possible so I kindly told my other friends. What they did with this information is all their choice. I did not tell anyone to throw away their alcohol. I did not tell anyone that room checks would be in the morning, yet somehow, I am blamed for the whole conspiracy. Not only do I not appreciate being blamed, but I have a hard time trusting people as it is and this does not help.
Now, in this confusion, the one person on campus that I really want to tell this too, refuses to spend time alone with me. I don't know why I have become too much of a distraction, and I also don't understand why she will not give me the time of day. I took care of her last night. I did the right thing. I feel so unappreciated that it literally hurts. And now, this rumor is spreading and I don't even have my best friend to support me and to stand by my side. This, is not O.K.
So, instead, I sit here blogging about my problems to cyberspace and wishing I had not been involved in anything yesterday. Part of making a life here is making choices about my life. This was a bad choice. Mistakes help us learn if we are strong enough to not make them again. I will not be involved in any sort of kegger next weekend. I will not be involved in any "go fish" this next weekend. I will not be spending my time with people who choose to spend their time this way when they are under the influence. As much fun as it is, it is more of a problem.
I have school and my family to worry about. I have to make time to take care of myself. Doing that, will not get me anyplace I need to be.
So, do not blame me for the things other people say. Do not put your frustrations and anger on me, because it is not my fault.
No comments:
Post a Comment