Burned out

I feel so incredibly burnt out with school right now. This week has seemed to drag the whole way through, despite meeting a new guy (he's super cute btw). I know I'm pushing myself really hard and I know I will do well enough come the end of the semester. It just seems like right now I'm constantly 3 steps behind some homework and 3 steps ahead in others. I can't find a place where it is all getting done. I'm smart and have done the easy homework first to alieviate that burden, but the difficult senior level course work haunts me every day. I wake up and read, I got to class eat class read dinner read a little tv to numb my brain then bed. I am bogged down by the sheer level of this coursework. I know I can handle it, I've received good grades on the first presentations and decent grades on my first papers. I just haven't the will to move forward. But I don't want to quit. I just want a week off before spring break. I am gone all of spring break so thats no break. I just need like 3 days of peace. If only...

Too Busy Trying to Participate

So I love the movie perks of being a wallflower. It is a movie about real life and I respect that. The movie ends with the main character penning off a final letter to his penpal. He says sorry if I can't write for awhile. I may be too busy trying to participate. That's how I feel with my blog right now. Sorry if I don't post, but I might just be too busy trying to participate. Anyways, you loyal readers could call me anytime and I would love to catch up.

birthday approaching

well I successfully made it through Valentines day. I ended it alone in the dark watching titanic and crying my little eyes out but I was happy.

now, my 20th birthday is just around the corner. Sunday to be exact. now I know this birthday isn't that big but I will no longer be a teen. I am entering the official sphere of young adulthood. exciting. presents can be sent to Hamline :) lol

Quick pre-valentines update

I have no valentine. If anyone wants to change that you have one hour before I commence single awareness festivities. Of which include getting chocolate wasted. I would get the other kind of wasted, but I only like wine and I'm poor and underage. so chocolate will do. I accept valentines of both genders and I'm not opposed to accepting presents. I have cool kid valentines that are pirates of the Caribbean and they have pencils. Much love world.

Hands In All The Honey Pots

Hannah has her hands in all the honey pots. I have never been one to jump into things or really be involved in anything outside of academics. In a way, I still am just within the realm of academics. But, I've been jumping at every opportunity lately. Whether it be because I recognized that I need to build up my resume or if I just felt like I've sat idly by long enough.

I have taken on a senior seminar course this semester in English about reading masculinities. I'm terrified and excited about this class. I can follow the material so far and I'm not afraid of hard work. But, I am the youngest student in the class and I am afraid I will miss something from not having taken as many classes as some of the other students. I am  determined to prove myself as worthy and capable so I work hard. I bravely took the first presentation day (next week Monday) on psychoanalytic theory. I took this date for two reasons; 1. I know psychoanalytic theory. I wrote a big paper on it. Freud entertains me. And it combines my two loves of psychology and English together. 2. I know going first will give me a sense of what to improve on for the second presentation we have. Now, I know this professor well. He is my advisor for my English major and he is amazing. He said he is looking forward to my presentation because he knows I've been engaging this material for the last 6 months basically. I feel like that has set high expectations, but it feels good. I like a challenge.

I also submitted my paper on Ender's Game and psychoanalytic theory to the ACTC English Majors conference. I doubt it will get chosen to be presented, but I feel proud of submitting.

On campus, we have an arts journal that comes out every spring called The Fulcrum. Each student can submit up to 7 pieces in either the arts or literary category. I have some poems from last semester that I feel pretty proud of and I'm thinking of working on them a little more closely, then submitting them. I will let you all know more later.

I'm in the Presidential Scholars Colloquim on campus which allows me to go to different arts events throughout the spring semester. I went to see As You Like It at the Guthrie last weekend. I'm looking forward to at least three other events this spring.

And to top it all off, I made the Dean's List last semester. So, busy as I may be, I am doing well.

I feel a little like a chicken with her head cut off, but it's nice to not think about everything so much right now. I simply don't have time for boys and my friends are already kinda doing their own thing this semester. Mak and Courtney are joined at the hip practically and I dislike third wheeling it so I spend a lot of time doing my own thing. I'm ok with it. I hope to get back into the semester and I feel like March will bring a little more time and comfort for me.

Stress does weird things to my psyche

I'm off. I feel adrift. My feet don't touch but I'm not flying.

I'm stressed out and I don't feel like myself. I feel far too quiet. My mind is unusually calm. Is this what people normally feel like? I just feel far to silent. I can't even think it out for there are no thoughts.

My scarf

So I crochet for fun. I made this scarf in like 3 hours last night. :)