My Rant About Parents and Cellphones

So working at the Mall of America as a ride operator is a great job for the most part. I get paid to push a button all day. Easy job. Working on kiddie rides, I can't even begin to count the amount of parents I come into contact with every day. Lately, I have gotten so frustrated with parents and their cellphones. I have to constantly get on the microphone to tell parents to put away their cellphones while riding rides with their kids. Some of them are taking pictures and I'll get to that, but the parents who are so tied to the grown up world that they can't keep their phone in their pocket to ride a ride and watch their  child smile are disgusting! What kind of a parent ignores their child so they can check facebook, let alone ignores their kid while on riding on a machine operated by college students! I'm responsible and I do my job well, but parents come on! Your kid is only a kid once. Enjoy those smiles and giggles as they ride. Laugh with them. I watch kids look to their parents with a huge smile on their face only to be disappointed because mommy/daddy is too busy on their phone to even see their child looking at them. I know I'm not the first person and I won't be the last to complain about this, but it bothers me.

The other really annoying thing is those parents who are too busy taking pictures of their kid to actually enjoy the ride. I want to just scream at them "stop trying to capture the moment and live it instead!". I bet if you weren't shoving a camera in the poor kids face you wouldn't have to tell johnny or susie to smile and I bet they would smile at you like you're an angel for taking them on fun rides and giving them so much loving attention. Kids aren't going to care about a picture of them as a 1 year old on the carousel at Nickelodean Universe, but they are going to care about the relationship you build with them so that when they're 20 or 30 and they have their own kids and they take them to the mall someday they're going to remember how much fun it was being with their parents and they are going to give the gift of parental adoration and attention to their own children.

That's all I've got to say, so parents, get off your cellphone!

I'm fine!

How come a simple question can drive me crazy? I swear though, if one more person asks me if I'm ok or tells they're sorry I'm going to lose it. I am fine. I don't want to talk about it.

I know I broke off my engagement and got horribly verbally assaulted by his mother and I know I had to move home. I know because I lived it. So stop telling me it must suck. Guess what? It does suck. Sometimes I just want to scream at my own life right now. But its my life. Its the only one I got and I'll be damned if I let a shit break up hold up my life.

So no I'm not ok really but I will say I'm fine. I am fine. I am living. I am thriving. I am in a better situation now than I was before. So yes I lost someone that I love but you know what? I still have good memories. He and I are on great terms. Honestly. I have a wonderful family that is here for me 110%. I have good friends. I have challenging classes. I have a job I enjoy. I am blessed in so many ways. I actually thank God for bringing Kyle in my life because now I know what real love feels like and I know what I need from a partner. So I will be ok.

So please, stop asking if I'm ok. I'm fine. I swear.

Just a Pendulum

My feelings are a pendulum right now. One minute I'm ok and I'm confident that I'll get my life together and the next I'm near tears and shaking randomly because I'm scared about where my life is going and I miss Kyle like crazy. I'm tired of the back and forth. I always know what I want and right now I don't and it's terrifying.

Finding a New Balance

Right now, I am finding my new balance in life. It is hard to drive everywhere, but good. I love my job and I love school. I love Kyle too so life is pretty good.

It's a balance to learn and it will all change again soon enough, but for right now I feel like I am in a good place.

Upside Down Inside Out

My life has changed so drastically in the last week that I still haven't really grasped it all. I went from being engaged and living with the love of my life to being single and moving back to my parents to being just in a relationship and living at my parents to being in a relationship and staying part time with Kyle. The catalyst of all of this was Kyle's mother screaming at the top of her lungs in my face, calling me a "spoiled little school bitch" and saying that I should be checked into a mental institution. I yelled back because she backed me into a corner. I don't feel bad. I couldn't live there with her. I tried to get Kyle to have her leave, but he didn't pick me. Instead I got booted out. Now Kyle and I are rebuilding a relationship that was so burdened down by the mass amount of life around it that it's gasping for air now. We're enjoying each other and doing our best to make us the best. I do still want to get our own place like we had agreed to do at the end of the lease. That means I have three months of this craziness before we can live happily ever after. That is if Kyle keeps that plan. The way things look, he will probably still choose his mother and continue enabling her poor behavior. I'm still appaled at Kyle for not stepping in and telling his mom to back off. He should have protected me. That should have been the end of it for him, but she won. She always wins. I can't stand her. I have no respect for the woman. I wouldn't even blink if she were to disappear. She is a horrible human being and doesn't deserve the dirt off the bottom of my shoe let alone the love and affection of her son when she treats me, who was his FIANCE, like a sac of garbage. It reflects poorly on Kyle too for not making a better choice and failing to stick up for me. So now,  we're in this mess. I am trying to have faith that it will end ok, but right now I just feel so baseless and like I just don't know which way is up or down.